1920 – Dwyer Stakes Duel

“For just a second there loomed the possibility of the horse of the century meeting defeat. It was a rather sickening thought to those who had raised this colt to a pedestal. The same crowd would have hailed a new champion in the next breath.”

– New York Times, 1920*

Man O’War – the horse of the century, raced against John P. Grier in a duel. Only these two horses on the race course. The race started neck and neck. Man O’War and John P. Grier running side by side, the challenger matching the champion stride for stride. This is how it went furlong after furlong, each matching the other. Thousands of spectators were cheering from the stands. Then the horses entered the home stretch and the challenger nosed ahead. The crowd came to its feet.

In this moment of crisis, Man O’War’s rider, Kummer, nicked him hard on his rump with his whip and the great horse blazed ahead. Only the last 70 yards remained of the 1 1/8 mile race. Still, Man O’War beat John P. Grier by a length and a half. One of the greatest victories on a race course. So much so that the New York Times was still celebrating this race in 1927. Champions are made thus.

However, this post is not about Man O’War. This is about the lesson that we can learn from the challenger, John P. Grier. Today, Man O’War has a Wikipedia page dedicated to his life. John P. Grier, widely regarded as the second best horse of his generation till the Dwyer Stakes Race, is to be found on www.americanclassicpedigrees.com – a website dedicated to race horses.

The loss in the Dwyer Stakes race broke him. He became half the horse that he had been. A thoroughbred of great promise, such promise that he was groomed as the only horse who could beat Man O’War, he has only one more notable race win after the Dwyer Stakes run listed on the American classic pedigrees  site. What happened to him?

He lost his spirit is what happened.

A thought experiment

Imagine that John P. Grier was not a horse but a young strapping lad, full of hope about his life. Young John had a dream to make it big in the world one day. He then went on to establish faith in his abilities by setting up and achieving goals repeatedly. He used this immense belief in his own abilities to fuel his dream. 

Then, he dreamed his biggest dream. Something truly audacious. We do not need to know the specifics of the dream, whatever fits his bill of audacious – should do for our purpose. He studied about the mechanism, planned thoroughly and tested his assumptions. When he became reasonably certain of the outcome, he started execution. He was excited. Finally, this was what he had been preparing for all his life. He shared his vision with his friends and family.

As different people have different perspectives, his friends and family reacted to his dream as per their conditioning. While some of them were impressed by the audacity of the vision and said that he should definitely go for it, some others said this seems to be little risky and maybe it is not the right time to go for it. Some said we have seen people trying to do such stuff and it has always resulted in failure, you have a good life why don’t you continue what you are doing and drop this dangerous idea. And there were some who said – not everyone is a legend, you are living in a delusion. Come to us for help after you’ve come to your senses.

John, however,  was sure of his ability. The people in the first group gave him further strength, and he convinced the folks who were tentative on why this is the time. He put his plan in action. 

In the start everything seemed to fall in place for him. He was happy with the progress, and he kept sharing the results with his friends and family members. Then the big moment came. 

The Dwyer Stakes run – John P. Grier nosed ahead of Man O’War.

John felt invincible. He could see everything that he had planned for becoming manifested in front of his eyes. His win was a sure thing. He had never known such elation, such joy. Then he faced a challenge that he couldn’t overcome. 

Man O’War beat John P. Grier by a length and a half, in the last seventy yards of the race.  

John had a major setback to his plans. As we know, the horse John P. Grier lost his spirit after the race. But it was not so for John the lad. He hunkered down to analyze what went wrong. How could he turn this around? He discussed the situation with his friends and family. Somehow after the discussions, he lost his spirit and the dream finally broke.

If you have faced such a situation, then you know that outright abandonment or postponement leading to abandonment of the pursuit is very likely the result. This happens because the Spirit faces multiple challenges and you start to doubt your vision or ability. As a safeguard, you try to get back to the relative comfort and safety of the regular life. You will be encouraged to do so. Once this is completed, the dream becomes a memory of a reckless adventure or a fool’s quest. After sometime, if someone seeks John’s advice on pursuing a dream which has an element of risk – John will suggest him/her to stick to the regular life. It is safe and comfortable.

How to guard your spirit after a monumental setback?

If you are John, and you have had the biggest setback of your life – I have only one advice for you – Do not abandon your dream. Plenty of people will suggest, ask, plead you to do that. All of them usually wish you well. I have categorised these well-wishers in four broad categories and have suggested how to handle them – 

The Cynics or “I told you so” – These are the people who did not have any faith or attraction in the dream to start with. When you fail, they feel vindicated and they will make sure to remind you of that. They typically believe in a straight and narrow road to a comfortable life and anyone who suggests that there are other ways than straight and narrow and there are other joys than comfort is a suspicious character in their view. If they care for you, they will try very hard to bring you to straight and narrow.

What to do about the Cynics – 

The Cynics are the easiest to handle as long as they are not collaborating with the other groups. You ignored them earlier and you need to continue to ignore them. They do not get what you were trying to do anyway and now that you have stumbled, they will become more vociferous in their guidance and admonition. Best thing to do is to shut the noise. You and them are on different belief and value systems. There is no middle ground. 

The Pragmatic or “good that the experiment is over” – They are the ones who start as sceptics when you decide to venture on your quest, but then you persuade them to become supporters. These are the people who will likely heave a sigh of relief. It is very likely that they will get back to being a cynic.

What to do about the Pragmatics –

Remember, you had persuaded them to become a supporter by sharing the grand vision of the dream. The dream has unraveled now and they will think any attempt to get back to pursuing the dream is fool-hardy. At this point of time you should assume them to be Cynic and try to keep the noise out. They had shown faith once and maybe will do so again. But now is not the time to persuade them again.

The Supporters or “you tried really well“ – These are the people who believed that you could have pulled it off. After the setback, you will be able to see that the faith they had in you is badly shaken, but they care for you and will never show that their belief in you has taken a hit. 

What to do about the Supporters –

The Supporters are the difficult ones to handle. They were with you as you felt elation and heartbreak. They have seen what you have gone through and they really care about you. But the failed attempt has dented their faith. Now when you will talk about restarting, they will tell you that you should – but their heart will not be in it. They will likely give you better alternatives on what you should do. They will never be opposed to your pursuit, but at the same time they will give you options which may lead to abandonment of the pursuit. This will come from a place of deep caring and you will know it. That is why they are the difficult ones. You should have frequent discussions with them and try to bring them onboard. Once they are convinced again, they will be a huge support in the pursuit of your dream. 

The Believer or “let us try again” – Really a rarity. You will be very lucky to find such a one after you have had a spectacular fall. In fact for most of the people, this group consists of Zero participants even counting themselves. 

What to do about the Believers –

First, become one. If you are having doubts about your ability, shun those thoughts. The make or break of YOUR dream is dependent on whether YOU still have the Spirit to pursue it. If you have lost the Spirit, either through the failure or after the failure the Cynics and the Pragmatics have convinced you to give up, that will be the death of the dream. So in order to keep the dream alive at least you need to keep believing in the inevitability of the final outcome.

Next, If you have anyone apart from you who falls in this category and stays in this category even after the failure, specially after a catastrophic failure, that one is a gift from the Gods. Make sure to keep in frequent touch with that person. This is one of the reasons that partnerships of two or more succeed even in the face of seemingly insurmountable problems. 

Dear Reader, the dream is yours. It is your responsibility to fulfil it. Do not become another John P. Grier. Guard your spirit and race again. May our lives be richer because you took time to read this post.

* New York Times (July 11, 1920). “Man o’ War Again Sets World Mark: Shaves Mile-and-a-Furlong Record in Wonderful Speed Duel with John P. Grier”